Something Something bateman

While watching “The Haunting of Hill House”, my boyfriend got so scared he bit my leg.

He bit my leg, you guys.

Once I got so drunk and passed out on my best friend’s couch.

I dreamt about a big glass of icecold Coke and got so fucking thirsty.

When I woke up, my best friend had put out a glass of water for me and honestly, I’ve never felt more loved than in that moment.

It was wholesome.

It’s like a magic show.

My dog is so tired of my shit.

I’m so into Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, you have no idea.

It is also my ringtone, because it makes me act like a golden retriever.

sandandglass:

The Late Show, May 26, 2016

#literallyme.

But like, for realskies.
I have short blonde hair and this exact same onesie.